A Journey

I know this post is waaay over due...but better late then never right?  Okay...so here we go!

In 22 months, 691 days, 16,584 hours - however you want to put it -  I went to 8 countries, and travelled approximately 40,085 miles.  I spent about 500 hours in transit, stayed in 25 hostels and visited 105 cities and towns.  I jumped out of a plane, went caving caving, white water rafted, lived in a campervan that took me across the North Island in New Zealand,  ate the best burger in the world - The Ferg, drank rum, snorkeled and scubadived in the Great Barrier Reef, tried the tropical fruits of Fiji,  lived in the Outback, went croc spotting, drank goon, held a monkey, partied, drank beer,  hiked a volcano,  hiked a glacier, had my heart broken, drank vodka,  met amazing people, said goodbye to amazing people,  drank bourbon, fell in love, got married,  seen sunsets all over the world,  been back to my family roots. I had drinks out the front of the Sydney Opera House,  touched Ayers Rock, Been to the Vatican,  saw the Pope,  walked the streets of Athens,  been an onlooker outside of Buckingham Palace, drank from a waterfall in Fiji, said hello to Big Ben and put my feet in countless seas.   I tried Yorkshire pudding and loved it, partied, drank to many agwa bombs (the shot of Calypso), seen the biggest spiders,  lived in a donga, lived on an island, fed cockatoos,  befriended a kangaroo, ate kangaroo, and learned how to roll my cigarettes.  I can now say hello in 5 different languages and in 3 different English slangs (yes it is different all over), was introduced to Drag shows,  worked as a vampire, had an interesting body massage in Bali, drank Arak, taught Dan how to eat with chopsticks,  tried gluwhein for the first time and loved it, got bit by a cockatoo, licked a green ant (they taste like citrus),  ate ants (they were in my chips it wasn't on purpose),  burned off my hair,  shot a rifle out in the bush, drove on the left side of the road, freedom camped,  learned different cultures,  more partying, hiked, walked, slept, laughed, cried, drank, partied and...well,  I really can't put it all into words so I am hoping that this video will help put everything into a better perspective for you.

My Epic Journey

There and Back!

I never thought the day would come that I would get to see Ryan again.  But it did!!!
Since I have been back I have moved in with my brother and got two jobs and have been working like a crazy person to a) pay off my lawyer and b) fly out to Cali for Ryan's Birthday, and that's exactly what I did.
My flight was at 9am but I barley slept the night before because I was too excited.  The flight was good though of course I was a little nervous but I slept a little and watched some movies so it was alright.
I was so happy to be back on California ground and seeing palm trees and the smell of the smog was oh so great!  though I was dead tired and just wanted to get to Ryan's.  By the time I landed grabbed a shuttle and was at Ryans door step it took over an hour and all I wanted to do was sleep so I was so grateful to finally arrive only to find that there was NO RYAN and his phone was dead! To top it off it started raining!  I so was not a happy camper at this moment in time, lack of sleep, airplane food, rain and no Ryan...what a way to start my trip off.  I called, I text but his phone was dead so there was no answer, and I didnt know where his studio was so I couldn't go there and I had my luggage with me.  "Hi babe, it's me, AGAIN, ummm it's starting to rain and I'm on your doorstep, please call me" was one of the many messages I left him.  Finally my phone goes off and its a text from Ryan - Where are you?- Umm your door step!- how long have you been there for? - 45 minutes. It's raining! LOL I was so annoyed but of course as soon as I see him come around the corner it's all gone.  Up until that moment I was so nervous to see him but so excited at the same time I didn't know how it would be - it was great!
We were pretty excited to see eachother and wouldn't let the other one speak.  The first thing we do is head the CVS to pick up some alcohol and some mix - I hadn't drank in three months I was going to let lose.  Plus his brother was going to be joining us for the 10 days so it was going to be a party.  We went through the bottle of rum and had to buy another one.  Ryan went in to grab some glasses and after about 10 minutes still hadnt come back.  We started calling his phone but there was no answer.  At this point it was pouring rain so we dragged the patio chairs just under someones balcony and kept drinking and talking.  It was almost half an hour and Ryan still hadn't come back outside.  We started banging on the door to get inside the building until finally Taylor heard us from his balcony and let us in the building.  Drunk, wet and a little cold we walk into Ryan's and there he is curled up on his bed sleeping with his phone in his hand LOL.  We woke him up and told him to keep drinking. We had a blast, well at least I think I did, I drank to much and fell asleep but thats usually what happens.
Anyways for the next two days Ryan had to finish off some business stuff and catch up on some work so that left me and Taariq (his brother) to bond and get to know eachother.  We checked into The Vibe (hostel), got settled and began planning Ryan's surprise.  We both wanted to rent a convertible for his Birthday to drive out to Vegas.  Taariq called and the guy picked us up in a 2008 Red PT Cruiser Convertible, beautiful car but shit to drive. After talking for half an hour and a drive to the rental place Taariq talked them down to $550 for the week with 1000 miles...SOLD!  We had a car starting the next day.  With that settled we decided to buy some groceries so we could make dinner instead of going out, so we went to Ralphs.  Half hour later we had full bags and spent $80...thats $80 worth of alcohol and mix, we forgot to buy food, we didnt even realize it until we were walking back to the hostel but we were dehydrated when we got back so we started drinking. It was only 330 in the afternoon.  It was a really great day.  Taariq and I sat for hours - in the rain AGAIN I might add - and just talked and really got to know eachother, it was awesome. Plus I was stoked about being in a hostel again, it felt so natural, like that is where I was meant to be.  I really missed the hostel life. Anyways all these months I heard stories about his brother and now I actually got to sit with him and get to know him, it was a blast! By the time Ryan got there I was trashed.  I ended up falling asleep at the restaurant we went to for dinner so Ryan walked me back to his place.  I was so drunk we got in an argument and he took my slice of pizza he had bought me and threw it on a pile of garbage only for it to be picked up in 30 seconds by a homeless guy (Dollar Mike).  We kept arguing but of course it didn't last long and he took me back to his place, left me with a pile of cigarettes and put me to bed and went back out to meet up with Taariq.
When I woke up the next morning I was really confused, disoriented and alone.  Ryan wasn't there.  I swear I remembered him crawling in bed next to me and putting his arm around me, it felt so real but he wasn't there. So I call his phone - "HELLO!" says some girl on his end of the phone "Hi is Ryan there?" "No he is not here" so now I am really confused.  Why is some girl picking up his phone and telling me he is not there.  Then some guy gets on the phone "Hi Im looking for Ryan" "He's not here" was all I got...can nobody tell me where he is...it's 7 in the fucking morning and random people are picking up his phone and not telling me anything.  Then the guy says "I'm a cab driver he left his phone in my cab can you have him call me so I can return it" finally some information but still there is no Ryan!  Plus the girl threw me off not even an explanation of why she had his phone just no he's not here in her high pitched little annoying voice.  So we hang up and I'm panicking. Why didn't he come home last night? Did he end up crashing in my bed at the hostel?  Not being able to call him and I didn't have Taariq's number. So with the alcohol still running through my veins I decided to head to the hostel so I groggily roll out of bed, put on my jeans and go to the washroom to wash the disgusting cat that shat in my mouth taste.  I was so panicked about not knowing where he was I just wanted to find him, I felt like crying.  As I was brushing away the cat littler in my mouth I hear "babe what are you doing, are you ok?"  It was Ryan.  I started crying "I woke up you weren't there, some girl picked up your phone, you have to call the cabbie, I thought you were beside me but you weren't, you have to pick it up from him, I didn't know where you were."  Ya not quite sober yet.  "Babe I was here the whole time!"  "No you weren't you were gone. I thought you were there, it felt real but you were gone" "Babe I was here." Ok now I was really confused, I don't remember him being in bed when I was on the phone.  "You were there when I was on the phone?" "No babe, I just ducked outside for a smoke. Everything is fine, I'm here come back to bed." So I crawled back in bed and snuggled up next to Ryan and fell asleep for a few short hours as we had to pick up the car.  We met with Taariq at the Hostel for 10, picked up the car and drove around, got lost while driving around and found our way back again.  Ryan went home for a nap and Taariq and I went back to the hostel for a nap.  I forgot how comfortable the beds were there, I slept so good, that is until the maids came in halfway through our nap.  It was ok in the begining, they were in the washroom cleaning, then one was in the kitchenette with the tap going, then they were both talking. Okay fine they are doing there job just go back to sleep, they kept the room door open and my bunk was next to the door so I could hear everything going on outside in the courtyard...it's okay just go back to sleep...i look at my watch 20 minutes till we have to wake up. I looked across the room at Taariq and he tiredly looked at me and closed his eyes...how is he sleeping through this.  Please stop running the taps, and whisper please stop talking in everyday voices this is nap time, plus your speaking spanish and I can't understand you.  Okay now I am blocking it out...then the singing starts!  One of them starts singing!!! Like singing along while driving along in your car singing and then the vacuum started!  And my nap is over, I am not sleeping after this now. Then as fast as it started it stopped and they were gone. Ahhh finally...10 more minutes to nap...I close my eyes...beep beep beep beep! Maybe not.  "I wanted to kill the maids" said Taariq as we got ready to meet up with Srini for dinner.  "I thought you were sleeping"
"Haha I wish!  I was ok until she started singing"
We meet Srini for dinner and then head to Ryan's and TRY to take it easy as we are leaving in the morning for Vegas.
We were a little hungover the next morning but we got up made some food, packed up our convertible and were on our way.  We stopped off to get some quesadilla's, taco's and smokes, hopped on the freeway and headed towards Vegas.   Music, going and roof down we were coasting, enjoying the breeze, the scenery and the little droplets of rain that started.  We put the heaters on because it was a little cool and there is no way we rented a convertible to drive through the desert and having the roof up.  The drops of rain became a little more frequent, we put the heat up hoping it would pass.  Now you have to understand Taariq was driving and I was in the passenger seat, we have the windshield to block a lot of the wind and droplets of rain, Ryan was in the back so he wasn't so lucky.  We were all so determined to have the roof down that we kept on driving. Here we are on the freeway in a convertible in the rain wearing sweaters and the heat blasting refusing to put up the roof, Taariq and I are completely ignoring the fact that Ryan is sitting in the back with his teeth chattering. Finally Ryan said "please pull over it's fucking freezing back here!" "Sorry babe, it's warm up here!" LOL  When we pulled over to put the roof up Taariq hopped in the back to sleep and Ryan took over driving.  We took a detour on Ghost Town Road and saw Area 51/Army Base and Ghost Town.  We stopped and pulled over for a smoke, it was kind of creepy because the sky was gray and made everything seem like it was out of a horror movie.  We were going to go in one of the buildings but of course I got creeped out. The drive was awesome as always.  I had never driven through there at night so it is completely different.  At night after the sun sinks below the horizon, dusk hits painting the sky royal blue that sits behind the the now black silhouettes of the mountains...it was breathtaking...the pictures still don't give it justice.
VEGAS! VEGAS! VEGAS! We finally arrived!  The strip was lit up and we were ready to party.  We finally get to our room after a grueling 45 minute argument with the general manger at the front desk, the guys were ready to cancel our reservation and go somewhere else.  But we had a long drive and just wanted to get in our rooms and start our night.
We were barely in our rooms a half hour when the party started.  LOL the guys were in heaven and in their own world but I loved watching them, they were so random with jokes and games. They were so loud and obnoxious it was hard not to laugh! We played Democracy, Mankallah, Taariq let Ryan pretend he was Superman and Taariq pretended he was the Incredible Hulk by ripping off his shirt.  They were a blast!!!  Ryan really wanted to go to the Piano Bar at New York New York but I had lined up a limo for an hour so we were making up excuses for him to wait around.  The limo was suppossed to pick us up around midnight.  So we got ready and wasted and headed down to the lobby of our resort (The Sahara- I will never stay there again) and continued our drinking there while we waited, and waited and waited.  By 2:30 the limo hadn't shown up and I couldn't get a hold of the guy.  I was in tears,  I had this planned for weeks, I was so excited and it all went down the drain :( So a cab was now our way of travel and we headed to the Piano Bar.  As usual the Piano Bar was awesome!  We had a blast and met some really awesome people.  I remember so many drinks, non stop, and of course I got really drunk and fell asleep LOL. We ended up getting back  to the resort at 9am.  I passed right out.  I was so tired...I really hadn't done any relaxing since I landed and the king size bed was calling my name.  I was out like a light.
2pm -  I wake up to Ryan stumbling out of bed and being sick in the toilet.
3pm - I wake up to Ryan being sick again. Not really thinking anything of it due to the copious amounts of alcohol we had taken in the night before.
4pm - I wake up to Ryan being sick again. Except this time I could tell he was really sick.  I called Taariq to come down to our room.  He had alcohol poisoning.  We didn't even leave our room till midnight which was only to go eat dinner and then head back to bed.

The next day was better. We walked around and went to Stripburger for Burgers and a Bucket of Corona's.  We went to the Oxygen Bar @ Kahunaville in Treasure Island and then stayed for the Pirate Show.  I was so excited to see it.  I missed it every single time I had been to Vegas so it was the one thing I really wanted to do when we were there.  I loved it!  We went back to the resort and napped for a few hours and then made our way to O'shea's, a really great Irish pub located in the center of the strip.  We ended up meeting a group of people that some how ended up getting us in the crazy beer pong game of my life.  We had people betting on our game.  It was loud and crazy and we ended up losing but it was a blast and at the end everyone was walking around hugging eachother saying "good game" The guy who put money down on the other guys said he had just lost to them so he knew he was betting right lol  After that we hit a club till about 6am and drearly made it back by 7am only to wake up 4 short hours later to check out.  We napped by the pool and then hoped in the Cruiser for a long ride back to Cali.
We were all beat.  Taariq drove but after 45 minutes was too tired. So we pulled over on the side of the freeway in the desert and slept LOL.  We switched drivers almost every hour because we were so tired.  It was like being in limbo we didn't know if we were dead or alive.  We thought we did Vegas but Vegas definatly did us!
We got back around midnight and I think we called it a night...LOL I really don't remember I was so exhausted by the time we got back.
The next day Taariq wanted to do some touring since we had to take the car back the next day so first we went to The Grove, one of my favourite places in LA.  We had a nice lunch and saw Cindy Crawford and Mario Lopez and of course I took pictures.  We then went to the movies and saw the Social Network, it was really good.  After that Ryan really wanted to take Taariq up to the Observatory so I punched it in my iPhone GPS and we made our way over, or at least we tried.  I was confused with the directions and we ended up on the wrong side of the Hills.  We kept telling Taariq to turn around but he wanted to follow the road because it would take us there.  We told him that if we kept following the road we would end up on the other side, that the road wouldn't take us there.  He kept driving...he was actually right! An hour and a half later we got there, only to find out it was closed Monday's and Tuesday's.  We could still go on the rough, so we stayed up there for about half an hour and looked at LA at night.  It was really beautiful.  We went back to Ryans for some drinks and after getting kicked out of the lounge for making too much noise we decided to take Taariq to the Bungalow for drinks in the party room.  Fuck! it was awesome.  Being back there felt so good.  It was almost like coming home and we met some really awesome travellers.  We partied till about 5am and then headed back to Ryan's.
The next day we had to drive the car back, it was actually kind of sad. I didnt want to give it back but we really didn't have a choice.  It was almost like saying goodbye to a friend forever, it had been there for our whole adventure.  Now carless we went for lunch.  After that I said goodbye to Taariq and headed back to Ryan's so they could have some time together before he had to get on the plane.  Ryan got home around 7 not really smiling as he just said goodbye to his bro and now having to spend our last night together.  Tired and not really up for much we got dressed and went down to my old work Mr. Pizza for our last dinner. We took the bus and half way there the bus driver kicked everyone off the bus turned it off and didn't say anything so we walked the rest of the way (I hate the Cali Metro system.) Dinner was really nice and I got to see a few people I worked with.  After dinner we cabbed it back to Hollywood Blvd  and  went by his work so I could say goodbye to Srini and Jonny.  We were so tired but didn't want to sleep because we knew we only had till the morning with eachother but by the time we got back to his place I couldn't even keep my eyes open.
The next morning I woke up and started crying, it was my most unfavourite day with Ryan.  The day we say goodbye.  We got up, got my stuff together and went out for a smoke.  We just sat and talked, took in every moment and then he put me in a cab and I was off to the hostel to wait for my shuttle.
As I was waiting for my shuttle all I wanted was one more minute with Ryan and then I realized I had Ryan's ID in my wallet.  So I walk 25 minutes down to his work to drop it off. I got my minute :)  As I walked back across Hollywood Blvd. I took it all in.  I really did miss LA. The sounds, the people, the Palm Trees,  the movie ads (I didn't realize how up to date with movies I was when I lived there) and the now 26 degrees of balmy weather that only came out now on my last day.
I landed at about 10:45 that night.  I was a little sad but really rejuvinated.  It was a really emotional trip.  Ryan and I argued everyday that I was there but I didn't want to ruin the happiness of the blog.  We had a blast and we are both happy we saw eachother again, I wouldn't take any of it back, we just realized that we are closer then ever and it can be difficult but as we always do we work through it.
I'm actually a lot happier now that I have been there and back.  I saw some friends I never thought I would see again.  When I came home my whole 5 months had felt like a dream so going back just made it all come back to life.We both know we will see eachother again and I feel more settled with everything in every aspect of my life.
When I came home in July I was depressed and didn't want to come home for 7 months now I have been to Cali and back and have less then 4 months till I leave for 2 years and I don't feel like I have enough time.  I am back to working like a crazy person preparing and planning for my travels next year and getting ready for my trial next month.
Well thats it for now - I know it was a long one but it has been awhile and I miss writing my blogs.  Not sure when I will write next but hopefully sooner or later.
Hope you liked my adventure as much as I did.
Take care

M


- For first time readers...please go to the Fiji blog from here.  You will be reverted back here later on.

Taking it all in.

The moment I walked into my house I had this really strange feeling.  This really weird heaviness.  I walked down to my room put my stuff on the floor and broke down in tears.  I felt so lonely; even more lonely than being a solo traveler.  It was this feeling of complete aloneness that was heavy like a wet blanket.  I felt like coming home was a bad decision, that I didn't think it through long enough, that maybe I should've waited a few more weeks. But then what? My time in America was almost up anyways, and I was so tired from an emotional five months that a few weeks wouldn't have made that much of a difference. And my bed, oh my bed, looked so heavenly sitting there, taunting me to just lie down for a few seconds so it could take me away to Sleepville filled with endless hours of sleep in its blankets and pillows that looked like clouds, telling me I would have the best sleep I have had in 5 months.  But I couldn't.  I wasn't ready to sleep yet. Don't get me wrong I was aboslutely exhausted but I had a hestitation, almost an anxiety about crawling into that beautiful fluffy cloud that was my bed.  I wanted nothing more then to sleep, but the thought of being alone in my room almost scared me.  I had been around people for so long it was a scary thought to actually have my own room, my own space, my own everything.
My ears were ringing from the silence.  It was like being at a night club all night with the music pounding and you get home and your ears are ringing because it's so quiet (and this ringing stayed with me for days.)  I was so ... frustrated?...no that doesn't describe it...overwhelmed....I was overwhelmed with emotion and confusion and excitement that I really didn't know what to do with myself.  I wanted to call everyone and let them know I was home but when I talked to people it was almost like I didn't want to talk to them.  I was just so used to being around people that I didn't want to be alone but I didn't want to have to socialize either.  All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball next to Ryan and cry, but I didn't have that option anymore.  Ryan was there and I was here...another weird feeling I couldn't shake...this was the furthest we had been from eachother since the day we met.  So on top of being home after 5 months, having an emotional growth experience, saying goodbye to some of the best of friends I have made, feeling completely and utterly alone and wigged out about being back I couldn't even be with the person I was closest with.  What do I do?  I had only been in the door for 2 minutes and I was already feeling awful and ready to jump back on a plane and go back to the place I now considered home.
I cried for the first week I was back.  I felt akward and out of place.  I felt like I just didn't fit with anything or anyone or was it that they just didn't fit with me anymore?  I felt neutral, but depressed yet so different at the same time.  On top of everything I felt like the past five months was just a dream, like none of it ever happened!!!  I was back exactly where I was 5 months prior; after everything I experienced I was back to where I already had been and it felt awful.
It's almost two weeks that I have been home now and I am starting to feel better.  My eating habits are still way off, and sleeping and I are having arguments.  I want to be back on a regular schedule and sleep won't even wave at me till about 3am and when I do sleep it's filled with crazy dreams and I don't sleep through the night.  I'm back at work so I am trying to get myself back on a regular schedule but I'm still having a difficult time, infact night time is the hardest part of my day,  thats when I feel really lonely.
I've been doing a lot of thinking since I've been back (considering I'm up half the night I have a lot of time to think),  as much as I don't want to be home right now I do know this is where I am supposed to be at this point in time.  I need to be taking everything in that I have learned in the past 5 month, as well as thinking about all of you who made my trip what it was: Ellie - for being there and hearing my story with no judgement you are a great friend, Nathan - for driving me when I'm at my worst,  Rachy Rach - we became friends in 2 minutes but you were there when I needed a friend, Anthony - for giving me an opportunity that I never would've had and reminding me what it's like to be in a studio,  the Angels and Sparkle herself - I love you all, Steve - for opening up your home, Darren - my snoring roommate and calling everyone CUNTS with me, Emily - for all the rides and parties in Long Beach, Annie - my late night TV buddy, Garcia - our roomate who thought he was a Vampire, Bungalow Staff, Gino, Denis - for all your lifts to work, Capi, Dan, the staff at Mr. Pizza, Johnny - the shuffle gangster lol, Mikey Mike - for always being that familiar face and being there when your friends needed you, Tim and Alex and Slovania - we were friends for a short time but a good time ( we will always have the Viper Room), Luke - your one night stop overs in Cali were always a party, Amy and Kate - my two best girls that I can't wait to see again soon, Garth - Amy and Kate's wonderful brother who I met once but can't wait to see again, and to my family - Justin my brother, Dallas my best friend and male version of me and Ryan my heart and soul of California.
I miss you all so much and whether we met for 5 minutes, 5 hours or were friends the whole time I was there you all have a place in my heart for the time you were in my life in Cali.  I smile when I read my blogs or go through pictures, ya I'm sad to be home but I am so happy and for grateful  the time I got to spend with all of you in my short but very significant journey and I can't thank all of you with all my heart.
I'm not going to stop writing these blogs. I had a friend Alex (one of my roommates from the Bungalow) tell me to keep writing because the friends I met traveling still want to know what I am doing and where I am going so thats what I am going to do. Keep writing.  In fact to be honest, I'm almost addicted to writing them.  They have been a kind of therapy for me  the past few months and I wouldn't feel right not continuing. Plus it's my way of staying close to the ones I am far away from but also staying close with myself.
So now here I am back at home trying to get back into the swing of things.  Driving felt super akward, I felt like I shouldn't be driving I even got confused where things were.  I forgot where the glasses were in the kitchen, when I showered I was confused where the towels were and almost went to the front desk (which obviously we don't have) to ask for a towel, and felt really akward when getting a can of soda from the fridge and not having to despense any change.  It also smells different here, there is a sweetness to the air here and it's really quiet too, no traffic or police sirens. I do miss the hustle and bustle of people in a hostel, the accents of travelers and always making a new friend no matter what time of day, but I do love coming home having a tea and reading a book in my room on my cloud like bed.
 It scares me to think where I would be emotionally and mentally if I had never left and I'm still sad about being back, but I go through my blogs and pictures and smile because I am so thankful for the last five

five months. Instead of thinking "its been two weeks that I have been away from Cali" I think more along the lines of "it's two weeks closer to my next trip!"

See you soon!